Untangling and Settling

*Sigh* It’s been over five months, and I’m writing today because I sure as heck don’t want to make it six.  Truth be told, I’ve been lacking the motivation to write because I have a lot going on in my life right now.  I’m still wrestling with all of it.

This will be a short update.  Please forgive me.

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It’s Time

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photo from Wikimedia Commons

 

One of the few certainties I had during my college search was the resolution to not attend a big university.  I didn’t—and still don’t like— crowds.  I already knew about dreaded auditorium classes.  Those prerequisite classes that would make me one of hundreds of students.  I’d disappear into the sea of people, and the chances that my professor would know me was would disappear, too.

I needed direct and accessible communication to my professors.  My learning style thrives on feedback and constructive criticism.  The prospect of a teacher saying “Who are you again?” as I walked into his or her office was inconceivable.

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Growing Elegance

I had two private lessons yesterday because I missed one during my first work week.  Not that I was complaining, I got to dance with both Eddie and Olga.  I don’t get to dance with the former often.  Aside from co-owning the studio, he’s also an accredited ballroom judge, a coach, and the professional for his many competitive students.  Not to mention he has a family of his own.  He’s a hard man to pin down for those reasons, and I’m always grateful whenever I can have a lesson with him.  This time, we finally got to Smooth.

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The Scoop

photo by snowpea&bokchoi (flickr)

photo by snowpea&bokchoi (flickr)

I’ve been procrastinating with this blog of mine because I feel like all the life has been sucked out of my dancing.  If that suffers, so does my writing.  Fortunately, my sense of professionalism compels me to update more than once a month (read: sarcasm).  I’d like to get back to updating once a week.  But, I’m not sure when that’s going to happen given my job search, so please continue to bear with me.  Things have been hard lately dance-wise.

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Honing Versatility

I have a confession to make.  I’ve had two potential posts swirling around in my mind’s eye for a couple of days.  The reason I haven’t put one of these up until now is because I’ve been dealing with teacher withdrawal.  Yep, Tommy has taken a leave of absence from the studio again.  As of yesterday, he’s been gone three weeks.  *Sigh*  Last time this happened, he was gone six weeks.  I hope and pray we don’t push that.  Que sera, sera.

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These Tricky Emotions

This picture of me at The Mob Museum is an apt representation of how I feel about this particular truth: not happy.

It was something I always knew.  I never tried to deny it.  Perhaps it was almost too obvious, so well blended into my dancing that it didn’t bother me.  Unfortunately, the emotional force behind this just hit me a couple of days ago.  Now, I feel the need that every writer feels.  The need that says “Come hell or high water, I have to write about this.  Like, right now.”  This blog is largely positive and personal.  It will remain that way, but I will not stifle my emotions.  I’m going to pour my heart on the page and have no regrets.

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Graduation

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Graduate

That’s right; I graduated from university today cum laude!  My degree is in Journalism & Mass Communication with a minor in Philosophy.

“What’s next?”  Everybody has asked that.  Here’s my answer: I don’t know.  What I want to do most right now is rest.  Even my mother recommended that I take a small break before looking for work.  “Why not go straight into journalism, like be a news anchor or something?”  I’ll elaborate more in the next post, but journalism isn’t my let’s-get-right-to-it-passion.  For now, let’s say that I knew I had the option to start working when I turned eighteen.  However, my parents wanted me to go to college, though they didn’t mandate it.  I prayed, asking the good Lord what I should do.  He quickly responded: I was going to college.  I wasn’t unhappy because I knew I’d thrive in college, and I did.

Thank you to all my readers for sharing this blog with me.  It’s definitely been therapeutic at times.  As for its future, I want to continue it.  But, the family is in the middle of a move, and there’s trying to find a job, too.  I’m sure I’ll find a way to balance a job and writing this blog.

Until next time friends,

Alaina