At the end of my last post, I talked about using tango-boldness because I wanted to learn Tango Argentino. But, this attitude doesn’t only apply to dancing. I believe that most—if not all—of life’s magical moments happen outside my comfort zone. Yet, I find myself staying “small” because I’m afraid of being hurt. Well, it turns out that staying in my cushy place can be very boring. That’s the main reason why I decided to go social dancing at a different venue last night. The event was held at a local university to kick off a competition they were hosting the next day. It began with an hour-long master class followed by general dancing for two and a half hours. The class was slightly challenging, not too bad. The real challenge was ahead of me.
One of the scariest things about social dancing is that it can be a completely new environment. I didn’t know anybody there. I wasn’t used to seeing so many people my age engaging in ballroom dance. Plus, most of them were going to participate in the competition, so they already had partners they intended to dance with. I spent a good hour just sitting there waiting to get asked. I did get invited a couple of times, but they were few and far between. Finally I told myself, “Self, if you want something, go get it. You aren’t dancing as much as you want. So, why not ask a guy to dance? You’ve been wanting to develop the courage to do it anyway. Just suck it up, be a big girl, and go.” Well, I did. (Victory!) In fact, most of the dances I got involved me asking the gentleman. But it gets better.
I asked one particularly good dancer named Luke to dance tango with me. He happily agreed because he loved tango. Immediately, he went for closed position. This was the first time I’ve ever danced with someone in closed position, besides the male teachers at my studio. Yet, it felt wonderful and right. It wasn’t romantic in any sense, but it made me realize something: We humans are meant for physical contact with one another. Sometimes, as sexually saturated as our culture can be, it’s my opinion that we can also be hyper-sensitive to physical touch. Maybe that’s why dance “citizens” think it’s so odd that someone who’s married would let his or her spouse dance with another man or woman. I don’t know. What I do know is that I finally got he guts to ask a guy to dance, and it paid off.
P.S.: This wasn’t my main personal victory, but I worked up the courage to ask Tommy to teach me Tango Argentino after I test out. I know I said in my last post that last Wednesday was going to be my test day, but it was never confirmed. He told me last lesson that we were going to focus on learning the figures for tango. Then, I ought to be set to test out.