Say What? Part VIII

Authoress’ Note:  I’m rating some of this content PG-13.  It’s not extremely racy, but there are some questionable implications.



Welcome back to my highly sporadic, but hopefully just as amusing series of funny incidents and remarks.  Much has happened since my last post of the series.  Nick left, and I gained a new teacher.  New teachers have come and gone.  Time rolls ever on.  But, that’s enough poetry for one day.  The fact of the matter is this: I’m still here, and I intend to keep writing about my dancing journey.  Let me be frank.  I’ve been dealing with some emotional crap that I’d rather not deal with.  So, I figured I’d write something more humorous to help lift my spirits.  I hope it lifts your spirits as well.

Further Shift = Phone Number?

A notable quality of American Smooth or International Standard dances is what I affectionately call sandwich dancing.  It is where the lead and follow are physically pressed up against each other, as if they were trying to become some weird, singular person with four arms and four legs.  The follow has to be on the lead’s right side because if she was directly in front of him, there would be much banging of knees and very little movement.  Therefore, by remaining on his right side, the lady’s legs travels between the man’s legs as she travels around the floor, allowing for optimum momentum.  José was explaining all of this to a group of students one day, but he summed it up quite nicely by repeating what a coach told him concerning the very same subject.

José: Okay, so this is what a coach told me once. *moves hands over to his right side* Ballroom.  *moves hands over towards the center of his body* Phone number.

I Couldn’t Pass This Up…

I recently performed a Samba spotlight at my studio’s Hawaiian-themed guest party.  A guest party is just the studio’s way of advertising.  There are super-short group classes, student performances, a professional performance, and general dancing throughout.  Anyway, as is often the case with theatrical things, the routine changed from its initial choreography as the party approached.

Original scene: I pretend I’m on the beach gazing at the ocean, but I’m quite lonely.  I hear someone play the ukulele (My teacher, duh.), nod my head to the beat, and I’m off.

Revised scene: Tommy and I switch places, he’s playing the ukulele (well, pretending to) while staring at the ocean, I walk in front of him, then we’re off.

When he changed his mind, Tommy began to explain my motivation.  Little did I know I’d encounter a golden, verbal opportunity that was too good to pass up…

Tommy: Okay, so I’m going to be playing, and you’re going to walk in front of me.  Then, I’m going to come up beside you because you’re blocking my view.

Me: [in sassy, satisfied tone of voice]: Aren’t I giving you a better view than you previously had? 😉

Tommy: [small chuckle]: Yes, you are.

Yes, that comeback just popped into my head when he said I was blocking his view.  This sort of witty rebuttal doesn’t happen very often, so it’s a moment I treasure.  I think the main reason is because I love surprising people.  It does not matter if it is what I happen to be wearing, my make-up, my speech, I love moments like this.  But, I’m not the only one that has such a teasing dynamic with my teacher…


A studio-friend recently got back from a family vacation.  She went to England and Ireland.  The first day I saw her back having lessons with her teacher, I was wondering how she was.

Me: Hey, Amy.  Glad to see you’re back.  How’s the jet-lag?

Amy: It’s better, actually.

Teacher [interjecting]: Oh, she’s lagging alright.

Amy: *makes fist and puts it near his face*

One of my Favorite Sayings

The same teacher mentioned above will often “complain” about how “fat” he is.  I, for one, think he’s in great shape, but he is rather dissatisfied with his current physique.  I’ve never heard this before, but it never fails to make me laugh when he says it: “I’m in shape.  Round is a shape.”


The floor is yours now.

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