Feeling Flustered While Adjusting

Well, if it isn’t already evident to my slightly mourning heart, Nick has moved on.  Ah, change!  No matter how many times one goes through a certain change, like moving to a new house, I find it stinks equally each time.  Thus, it appears I have to once again adjust.  Please note that this is nothing against my new teacher, who is excellent.  This is simply me sorting out my feelings.

I had my second lesson with Tommy yesterday, and it still feels uncomfortable and awkward, but such is to be expected.  I don’t know him too well, but I’ll tell you what I know about him.  I believe Nick and he went to the same studio before they came to my studio.  As a leader, he is extremely powerful.  I can really, really feel it.  It’s unlike Nick’s lead in the fact that it has little restraint.  This is challenging for me.  Both Victor and Nick had strong leads, but they were also careful in dancing with a petite partner.  With Tommy, I have to really work on controlling my bodily momentum while I dance with him.  I’m grateful because I tend to physically overdo things when I dance.

As for my actual dancing, Tommy is just cleaning up my footwork, mainly for Smooth.  I’m not sure when I’m going to test out of Bronze II now.  It’s largely up to Tommy and Milana and Eddie now.  To be perfectly honest, I kind of feel like I’m back-tracking.  Dancing is the only area of my life where I truly feel confident.  Of course, one cannot feel confident all the time.  I always keep this thought int he back of my mind: “I have a long way to go.  Even if I become the ultimate champion, there will always be room for improvement, and true perfection is impossible.”  This keeps me grounded and motivates me to keep practicing.  Lately, though, it’s been discouraging me.  It’s just one of those emotional periods where I don’t feel like I’ll ever be the high-level (Silver plus), competitive I want to be.  I know this isn’t true, but it still sort of sucks.  Don’t worry, though.  I plan to keep dancing for as long as I live.  Sorry this post is on the short side.  They’re probably going to be short side until I get to know Tommy better.

Yours truly,



The floor is yours now.

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