I’m Clueless


“Entice me, ” the teacher commanded, “I’m a man”.  Later, “You need to make them go from this [currently sitting in a relaxed pose] to this [sits up in highly interested pose that, I confess, found very attractive].”  Three students, myself included, were working on Rumba arm-styling in Wednesday’s group class.  Here’s the thing: I felt awkward.  It wasn’t the idea of being sexy that perturbed me.  I just have no idea on how to act sexy, and that’s what made me feel awkward.  The fact that I was having a hard time dancing and using my arms simultaneously added to the ungraceful feeling.  I need to come to grips with this as a dancer, and as a person, so this is going to be one of those exploratory posts.  If you aren’t interested in hearing me talk about my psyche, please stop reading now.  The purpose of this blog is to explore not only dance, but how it influences my life.

To me sexy is just another way of saying attractive.  I know how to look attractive, just not how to act it.  First, I’m a very modest person, physically speaking.  I was initially cautious about wearing athletic shorts because I was nervous people would gape at my legs.  I don’t like wearing two-piece bathing suits either.  I’m not too worried about this fact because dancing has helped me come out of my shell.  What worries me is that, well, I don’t really feel very attractive.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t feel ugly either.  Let me put it like this:  I don’t feel desirable.  I’ve never had a dating relationship, and I’ve never been asked out.  Yes, I know that in this new day and age girls are allowed to ask guys out.  But, *sigh*, I’m a traditionalist.  I want to be chased, in a moderate way, of course.  That’s the main reason why I won’t ask a man out.  However, I will ask a man to dance.  To me, those two are different.  If I may explain, dancing is a relationship.  It’s only for about three to four minutes maximum.  Providing you don’t know your partner that well, that relationship ends when the song ends.  Dating is another matter.  The possibility of marriage is involved ,and that makes things more complex.  This is only my personal opinion, so please don’t take what I say too seriously.

Anyway, I need help.  Do you have any tips on how to act sexy?  Before you get worried, this is for dancing purposes only.  I’m already working on my posture, but I think my face and arms need the most work.  The arms I can work on with simple practice.  As for my face, my facial expressions can become pretty wild.  I don’t know what to do about it.  Other than smile, that is.  I confess: I want to dazzle people with my Latin dancing.  I just have to figure out how.

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3 thoughts on “I’m Clueless

  1. Be yourself, confidently! That’s it…let people in to really see your beautiful self, the one that’s more than just the body. I also struggle with the sexy stuff, but I think confidence and liking yourself are good first steps. xoxo

  2. Pingback: “I’m Sexy and I Know It” | …Then Came Dance

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