The Girl Behind the Smile and the Dynamics of Dance

I guess what I’m trying to say is, you never know how much pain someone can hide behind their smile.  So, please don’t judge over the small things.  Hell, don’t judge at all because what may seem small to you could be someone else’s biggest insecurity.  I’m asking for you to think before you make a remark that would hurt someone, whether it’s intentional or not.

This post is a companion to this one.


I found this gem of wisdom on a site entitled “Letters to Crushes”.  The authoress (mostly girls frequent the site) stated right off the bat that this wasn’t a love letter by any means.  She just had to let it all out.  It’s a sadly typical story about how she was bullied, and the damage it did to her.  I can relate, though I’m fortunate enough to have only been bullied when I was really young, like five or six.  Then, I thought about it a little more.  Bullying is just a single word for the phrase “unprovoked rejection”.  Sadly, I’ve experienced more of the latter than I’d like to confess.  It was this that served as my inspiration for my treatise on fellowship.

But, fear not, gentle reader, this post is not a sob-story.  This is about what ballroom dance has done for me personally—off the floor.  I wrote a similar post way back entitled “The Remarkable Remedy”, but that was about how the people I danced with helped in the healing process.  This one will be about how dance itself has helped me through life’s ordeals.

Dance at its core is movement.  I find that it’s much more difficult to ruminate and stew when I’m moving.  If my heart, soul, spirit, mind, and body move simultaneously, thought almost seems to vanish completely.  This is what dance does for me.  It moves all I am so that I can’t reflect on the negative.  When I waltz, I’m an ethereal maiden dancing in the arms of a wonderful man.  When I tango, I’m an angst-filled woman trying to decide whether to give in or not.  When I rumba, I’m a sexy tigress that would like nothing more than to see your jaw drop to the floor.  The list goes on.

Dance also makes me feel physically better.  I mean, it’s exercise.  What’s more, I’m having so much fun that I don’t even realize what I’m doing to my body until after I dance.  I love dance endorphins!  Plus, there’s a sense of satisfaction I feel when I sweat while dancing.  I apologize if that sounds gross.

Finally, and most importantly, I really feel like myself when I dance.  To elaborate, I believe we all have an idealized version of ourselves.  However, I am leaving out the common desire to change our physical appearance.  I believe our personality traits, moral compass, etc. to be more important than our physicality.  Does this mean I haven’t wanted to change something about my physical appearance?  Of course not.  It has not, however, been my primary focus.  Back to the point, I really feel like myself because I seem to embody the traits I believe I lack most when I am dancing.  Specifically, I feel that healthy, balanced level of self-confidence when dancing, unlike social or academic atmospheres.

Still, I hope.  If such confidence can exist in dance, surely it can exist in other areas.  I truly feel blessed to have such wonderful people at the studio with whom I can share fellowship.  I truly feel blessed that I’ve been given the talent to dance well.  Really, I feel blessed that I’ve even been able to dance at all because it really is helping me that much.


Authoress’ Note: There’s something I need to straighten out.  I love blogging, and I love my readers.  And, of course, I love dance.  Honestly, I’m finding it difficult to strike a balance between all this and college.  I know this: dance will be there for the rest of my life, but college will not.  I want to get the most from college as I possibly can, minus the wild partying.  It is because of college, the studying and extracurricular activities, that I’ve really only been able to dance ballroom twice a week now.  Sadly, I don’t even have time to go to ballet or tap anymore because I haven’t quite hit my stride, and ballroom is all I can really afford to do now.

No, I am not going on a hiatus.  Thank God.  I am simply telling y’all I’ll be putting more energy into college than I’ve been previously doing.  I will try to post at least once a week.  I hope that y’all understand.



The floor is yours now.

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