Star-Gazer Entry #1: Getting the Pointe


L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle

I love the stars, always have.  I used to live in the mountainous regions of Colorado when I was younger, and one of my favorite things to do at night was to go out on the front porch and gaze at the stars.  There were no big city lights to dim the glow.  Now, I live in a big city, and most of the stars are dimmed because of the lights.  I occasionally see a planet like Venus or Jupiter in the night sky, but that’s about it.

I often pride myself on my steady head and practicality, but I don’t deny being a dreamer.  When I see the stars, I’m reminded of the dreams I have, and the love that gave me those dreams.  If I could take some of your time, gentle reader, I’d like to share one of my dreams with you.  And of course, it has to do with dance. 🙂

I started ballet when I was eighteen.  I’m twenty now, and I’ve been doing it somewhat consistently for nine months now.  The reason why I started later was because I deemed it “girly.”  I’ve always had a rather strong masculine side, and it told me not to soil my “tough” image by putting on pink tights, a leotard, and pink shoes.  I listened.  That is, until I found my love of dance when I was in eighth grade.  Ballet became a little more appealing because of its foundational benefits.  Unfortunately, my stubborn side refused to let me take ballet until I was a legal, smarter adult.  Long story short, I was stuck with little kids and wanted to box their ears have the time, so ballet had to wait another year or so before I found out about the weekly adult ballet class.

That reminds me.  Just yesterday another dancer at college asked if I danced.  I told her I danced ballet, not wanting to mention ballroom due the pain of my current hiatus.  She questioned, “Still?”  Without thinking I simply said yes.  She assumed that I’d been taking ballet for years, and was still going.  I left her to that assumption because she didn’t strike me as the most empathetic individual.  So, as far as she knows, I’ve been dancing ballet for fun, which is precisely what I’ve been doing.  She just doesn’t know that I’m a newbie. 😉  It may be just a hobby with no professional intentions, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to try my hardest to go as far as I can.

For me, that’s where my dream of going en pointe comes in.  It’s a tall order, believe me as I’m not a part of a school.  But, dreams are supposed to be tall orders, so I’m not daunted.  Anything can happen, and I’m ready to embrace it.  Some might question, “Why go on pointe?  It’s not like you want to become a professional.”  The very simple answer is “Why not?”  Even in a hobby, one can still dream big.  But, if those people still need a reason here it is: I do it out of love for the dance, and I want to show it by challenging myself to go higher and higher.  To dreamers, it seems so simple, but most of the rational world (They constitute the people who gave me weird looks for my late start in ballet, and the fact that I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was eighteen due to anxiety issues.)  demands an explanation.  No explanation is needed.

So, to all you dreamers out there, keep at it and don’t give up.  Don’t let all those “logical” spoil-sorts slow you down, even if that spoil-sort happens to be yourself.

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