Class was very vigorous today, but I managed to satisfy myself today. The foggy images of the ballerina in the mirror are getting clearer and clearer with each class. I notice that my barre work is especially improving, even though I’ve been making more mistakes at the barre. The reason for all the mistakes is because I’m not in between any of my very experienced classmates so I can watch and follow them. Truth be told, I want to branch out a bit. That’s why I’m at the end. Sure, I’ll have some hiccups for a little while but it’ll really help me in terms of muscle memory and confidence. Center was not as satisfying, but that’s because he really souped it up.
Alright, so on to the pain. Normally, we do our barre exercises once through on our right and left foot. I don’t know what is was today, but Adrian decided to put it into overdrive. We did most of our exercises twice through on both feet. And when we came to frappè, oh, it felt like my leg was going to snap off out of its socket! For adagio, we normally do one exercise then go to center. This time we did, you guessed it two. One of the exercises we did was what I can only describe as try-and-kick-yourself-in-the-head-slash-face. We had to face the barre and kick our legs as high as we could with them straightened or in attitude. I went with straight because I really want to be able to get my legs up there without bending them. Eight times on each leg. Then, we had to do the same things the other way. The good news for this is that it’ll really stretch those inner leg muscles. I’m down to the last couple of inches in my splits, and it’s so close I can almost taste it! Sometimes, I feel like I’ll never get there, but I gotta tell myself that’s not true.
There is one thing that has truly been worrying me though. I’ve already told you that I’ve broken through the learning curve, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t know some things. There are some things, like the proper direction a pirouette should go, that I still don’t know, and I’m stuck guessing. There are many others along with that, too. Adrian used to help me play catch-up last semester, and I think he still might want to help me. But, my college schedule didn’t work out where I have five minutes extra after class anymore. I’m just worried I’ll learn something wrong. I want to get better, but how am I supposed to get better if I don’t know how to fix my mistakes? That, and I’m not exactly comfortable asking questions yet in ballet class.