Say What? Part III


All right, my 25th post!  Let’s make this a funny one, eh?  Much to my delight, I’ve found that most of my teachers are just little kids at heart.  Since I try to maintain that spirit, we all get along quite well.  Sure, we spend most of our time dancing, but we intermingle that with a liberal dose of immaturity and humor.

Highways: The Urban Labyrinth

Let me preface this by saying that I’m not exactly proud of my sense of direction.  It’s not horrendous or anything, but it takes a lot of repetition for me to memorize how to get to places.  I was leaving the dance studio a couple of months ago, and my main route was blocked by construction.  Long story short, I wound up lost on a main highway, and it took me three whole hours to get back home.  By the time I pulled in, I saw a police car, and my frantic parents rushed in to embrace me.  Turns out the people at the dance studio got worried sick, too, and texted with my parents as a way of comforting each other.  That was the first time I got lost since I acquired my driver’s license.  Of course, it wasn’t particularly funny at the time, but now DP teases me about it.

After a lesson shortly following the fiasco…

I was chilling in the water cooler room chatting with a teacher when DP comes in with the dancing form I have to initial after every lesson.

DP: This is a form saying that you won’t leave the studio without an escort.

Me: *lightly slaps him with embarrassed smile*

Teacher: *guffaws*

Me: *pantomimes jabbing him with a pen*

Today’s lesson…

DP: Hey, do you need any quarters?

Me: No, why?

DP: You know, for the pay phone.  In case you get lost on the way home.

Me: You’re a jerk!  How long ago was that?

DP: *still giggling, but gives me an “I’m sorry” hug*

Small World…

In the same vein, my former dance teacher, Victor, once got lost on a stretch of highway.  This was when he first moved to America, and he couldn’t speak English.  He had a weekend habit of going to the movies, but he got lost on this go-around.  Victor, bless his heart, didn’t make it home until about 3:00 am.  I heard this story second-hand from his wife.  Apparently this was before they met.  She was smiling slightly as she told this.  Odd how bad experiences can become funny over time.

Ever-eternal Potty Humor

Remember those days as a little kid?  Bodily functions were just so funny.  Apparently DP, who is an adorable little kid at heart, decided to revert to his five-year old self.  He was teaching me a Bronze II Waltz figure.

Me: I’m a bit confused is it like number one *does movement* or number two *does different movement*.

DP: Number two.  *does proper movement with me*.  And you know, when I mean number two, I mean your dance movement.  *Voice becomes very smooth* That’s right, Alaina.  Feel the number two…

Me: Eww!

DP: *feigned exasperation* Alaina!  You know what I mean!

Me: Hey, you started it! 😀

DP: *giggles*

Salsa and Babies

A word of warning, this is going into the PG-13 category.  If you are super-sensitive, I suggest you skip this one.  I was in a Salsa group class alone, and the studio’s newest teacher gave me an analogy for maintaining movement in your lower body, but not your upper body.

Teacher: So I want you to pretend that you have two babies in your hand.

Me: Okay.

Teacher:  You can’t shake your upper body because if you do, the babies will get shaken and die.

Me: 😮 *shocked laugh* What?!  Where in the world did that analogy come from?

Teacher: *laughs*

She later asked me to guess who told her that analogy.  I guessed correctly.  This certain teacher has a reputation for making all sorts of weird, funny, and slightly inappropriate analogies regarding technique, but it gets the point across.  If you ballroom dance for a while, eventually you’re going to run into one of these, too.

I’d like to end this with a meme I found while I was hanging around Dance Forums.  I don’t know why, but I found it hilarious.

Note, “What I really do” is not what I really do.  Though, sometimes I do feel as if I’m just dancing and looking like a fool at the same time.  My non-dancing friends probably I think I dance the way “Mom” does.  Ballroom is so much more, and I love it!

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